"Josh"

So on to my next escapade....Josh. Now Josh was completely my type, complete bad boy look, tattoos, 6'1 of all manly yummyness. One look at him and you get that instant jello legs from the orgasm he hasn't even given you yet.

The whole story started a week prior, I go to Lake Havasu and while I'm there meet him. He just so happens to live not 30 minutes away from me. We hit it off, each leave the lake and go our seperate ways continuing to text each other. Now I'm talking 12 pages of messages in a day, we were hooked and once our texting turned into "sexting" it was even worse. The usual sexual questions, and then the more in depth ones, and then just full blown talking dirty to each other. I was more then turned on by this, by what he wanted me to do, by how he took charge and was commanding.

We decide to meet. Public Place, dinner first and if more happens it does, if it doesn't no hard feelings. We go to the Irvine Spectrum, Eat at the cheesecake factory, flirt over dinner, laugh at some absurd things about the people around us....like how many are gonna go home and just completely fuck each others brains out and how many want to but are not. We go back to my car and sit there and talk. I'm wearing no panties and made this known at the beginning of the date, and am also wearing a very very short dress. He keeps asking me well what do you want to do, and i keep answering you.

Enter Irvine P.D., YES it only gets better from here folks. Because we are sitting in the car, windows cracked, we automatically are assumed to be fucking each others brains out "I WISH!!," so the usual running of the license, plates, etc. alot of apologies for interupting our first date, etc. So then once again I take the lead and start to kiss him, freaking AMAZING kisser, Im thinking this can only get better. He tells me to start the car and let's drive into the deserted business district.

We get there and get into the backseat. Now I have a huuuuge backseat because of the kind of car I drive so we're making out and I am a very very oral person. I unbuckle his pants and to my surprise he's not wearing underwear either. (I'm also thinking OUCH, you're wearing jeans haha but it didn't seem to bother him. So I wrap my lips around him, thinking "god he's huge" and how great he's going to feel pounding into me. He's moaning and groaning and shaking like a little schoolboy and he tells me "Sit back, It's my turn." I lay back and he slowly licks up my thighs and devours me. He's licking and fingering me, and at this point I am soaked, dripping from how turned on I am. I'm almost there and he slides up and into me. I'm thinking "Ok this could still work, let him take control, pound me, grab my hair and pull it back while he slams into me."

Well this is starting to become a trend. Five minutes and he's done, he pulls out and cums on my thighs and stomach. I'm thinking damn I could have at least swallowed it!! So luckily I have bandana's wrapped around my head rest and took one and cleaned myself up. He sits there and is ranting and raving..."Oh my god, you're the best sex I've ever had, and to me it sounds like Blah Blah Blah." At this point, I get dressed, and put my front seat back to normal to kind of give him the hint I'm going to take him back. He sits there for 30 MORE MINUTES! Finally Im like I'm tired I'm gonna take us back to your car.

I drive him back to the car, and get out. He hugs and like gives me one of those tender kisses and tells me he can't wait to see me again. Not five minutes later he texts me with more rants about how great of a "fuck" I am and blah blah blah. The whole way home I'm like banging my head on the steering wheel thinking am I ever gonna find someone that can handle my submissive side? Or at least dominate me just enough so I can orgasm, because this whole being left unfulfilled SUCKS! Once again I go home, and thank god BOB is there (yes, my battery operated buddy never lets me down) which is quite sad.

.......Don't worry this isn't the last unfortunetly....

"Matt"

Okay so to continue on with my string of unsuccessful meetings...here's yet another....He comes after "Mike"...We'll call this one..."Matt"

"Matt" is an aspiring fireman, taking fire science classes in college, also a star football player at said college....Now since my experience with "Mike," I figured just because there older doesn't necessarily mean they have a clue what they're doing....So "Matt" is a 19 year old, big buff studly football player. One look at this guy makes me wet....so I'm thinking INSTANT ORGASM right??? WRONNNNNG yet again...

The big stud turns into a big dud....we meet up and he wants a "Sweet" girl, one that will commit, be there forever blahhh blahhh blahhhh....I'm looking for a man to take charge of me....not for someone I can walk all over. But being the nice Kitty Kat I am what do I do? Give him a chance. We've known each other a week and I go away for four days and he's texting me...I misssss you baby blah blah blah....Woulda been so much hotter If it would have been..."How's my little slut doing? She knows she's going to get punished for leaving me without satisfation right? She knows I'm going to redden that ass of hers for it doesn't she?". Part of me kept holding out for it but NOTHING!!!

So I get back and he asks me to come over to his apartment. I go over, we watch Crank 2 (Oh yay) and he starts kissing me..NOT ONCE TAKING CONTROL....Finally he get's on top of me and for a man that is quite welllllllll endowed has no idea how to use it. I finally flip him over because I am completely unsatisfied and ride him until he explodes (which didn't take long) ... I pick up my clothes get dressed and once again leave. He asked me if i wanted to stay and cuddle....WTF??? Don't get me wrong I am a major cuddle whore....but only after mind blowing, exhausting sex to the point where your whole body has turned into gelatin mush and you just can't move and the only other satisfaction is snuggling beneath your masters arms.

My vibrators are worn out, my fingers are tired and it is mentally exhausting. People that are submissive in the bedroom and not outside of it understand....that is my outlet....the place where I am free from responsibilities other then the sole purpose of pleasing that whom which I give the title Master or Sir. My brain is fried and I am BEYOND sexually frustrated. This is me screaming out for help....and no one hears....my plea falls on deaf ears, or uncapable ones at least.

"Mike"

So...I was contemplating whether or not to post again...but here I am...again with the daunting empty pages....but now I've come to realize...who cares if I fill them or not, who cares if people read this or not. This is my release, my out, love it or leave it..it's your choice alone.

So since my last post I have tried to "scratch my itch" with no success.

My first partner after I split with my ex...we'll call him "Mike"..I've known him for awhile through my truck club...he was married, I was in a relationship. We both are recently single and started talking again through our truck site. Just bullshitting at first, then it got to the sexual stages. We decided to hook up, have dinner see where it goes from there. I go up to his hotel room and the doors open. He's kickin back in the chair and there was that awkard first date type vibe going on. I put my bag down and hug him. Now to give you a physical description of him....He's older, 39, military type haircut, toned and in shape, mustache and goatee, huuuuuge cock (but we'll get to that later)....

We end up going to dinner at a reallllly niice restaurant. Talked about BS for a few hours, ate...grabbed some ice cream afterwards. We go back to the hotel room and I lay on the bed (I may be submissive but if I know a guy is into me I am anything but shy)....I keep hoping he would just grab me and kiss me....but nothing...So i tell him I don't bite....He comes and sits on the bed with me....Us still talking...I get up and take off my vest im wearing....and my pants (in an excuse to get comfy) which I really shouldn't need at this point...He wants to fuck my brains out and I want him to....

He then realizes "OH CRAP, I HAVE A HOT HALF NAKED WOMAN HALF MY AGE WHO WANTS ME TO RAVAGE HER." and you may ask what he does about this realization....a whole lot of nothing... We strip, makeout, i suck his cock (which i love doing) for about 45 minutes, him dripping from it...my pussy aching at this point from having no attention to it....He lays me flat and slips his fingers inside my now dripping wet pussy... (now just a clue...if a guy fingers me roughly as in pounding me with his fingers...all it would take is a flick of the tongue on my clit to make me explode) Im thinking this guy is going to be outstanding, he's older, experienced, has said he likes it a little rough....anddddd nothing...he stops, slips inside me and proceeds to slam into me for like 15 minutes....he rolls over and said okay i need a break....

We lay there for about 30 minutes before he freaking ASKS me to bend over and ASKS me if its okay to do anal....Im thinking be a fuckin MAN....Tell me to bend over for you...tell me how you're going to slide inside my tight ass....Be my master, be my everything....I was sadly dissapointed.....I took a shower after that, masturbated thinking of how my dream guy would be in there with me commanding me to wash him, then to lick him clean while he watches me do it.....How my master would command me to bend over the edge of the tub so I can recieve my spanking, so he can redden my tight ass before he slides in....

I get out...get dressed and tell him thanks for a great time....Once again it was there on a mental level but just not there sexually....I don't even need a boyfriend...I need a master....But will I ever find one? I though that maybe this would be the guy...but now after all of my unsuccesful tries in search of him, I believe I'll know my master the instant I see him. Because he'd have that look in the eye like the only thing he was thinking about was claiming me and my body for himself, to make me his.